i’m 28.

Oh, hey.

I’m older or somethin’.

I feel like I’m 14 and 40 at the same time somehow. But the fact I’m closer to 40 makes me want to throw up.

Do you ever wonder if we existed before being born? Whether it be in the form of reincarnation or just existing in another realm before entering Earth?

My parents used to tell me that before I was born I was hanging out in Heaven with my dead grandma, who then chose me to send down out of all the other kids when my mom got pregnant. It was cute.

There’s a song by Logic (I think) where he is in a “waiting room” and talks to a god about what is and isn’t right in the world. Logic asks him which religion is correct, and this benevolent figure explains that all of them are in some way. And I know it’s just a little tidbit of art created by somebody just as human as the rest of us, but I think it was very well thought out. And right.

I think we’re all a little right in different ways, and very wrong in others.

We all exist in this space for a reason.

I hope one day when we get out I can get the answers I’m searching for, but a part of me feels as though the infinite time-space continuum just has a LOT more questions rather than answers. Even higher transcended beings are filled with a lot more knowledge, but also a lot more wonder.

Anyways, my birthday was on Wednesday.
And it was fucking euphoric.

It was exactly what I needed in life, truly.

I woke up late, had a lazy morning with the boys, got coffee, took them to lunch, went on a walk by the river, and then went kayaking with family.

The day on the water was incredible. Such a beautiful fucking day.

Drank a couple beers, smoked a little weed, and came back from kayaking to my boys awaiting me with a delicious birthday cake.

It was magical.

Then last night, Trev came home late and asked for a knee/calf massage and when I was rubbing his legs I was transported back in time mentally to times with my brother and dad. We would always give each other massages and then when someone would least expect it we’d do the “knee torture” and bite each other’s knees. It was so fucking weird, and we would legit be wiggling and freak the fuck out. It was awful, in a pretty hilarious kind of way.

So, upon having this thought, I did the only thing I could think of: gnaw on Trevor’s kneecap.

He did not freak out or wiggle away, but instead looked at me in complete bewilderment, confused as fuck. I lost my shit from laughing so hard.

Despite all the great things this week, I think that was my favorite.