My first book signing.

On October 7, 2023 I had my first book signing.

It may sound like no big deal, but to me it really, really was.

I remember telling everybody who ever asked what I wanted to be in life that I wanted to be an author.

I wrote a letter that I emailed when I was sixteen years old to “my future self” and scheduled it to be sent when I turned eighteen years old. I need to go find it, but in it I remember addressing that I should have a published book by the time I opened the email.

When I finally read it, on my eighteenth birthday, I was so disappointed in myself that I had yet to accomplish that goal. It felt like I was failing.

But I pushed on.

Nine years later, and so many trips and skydiving and beautiful memories and terrible tragedies and divorce and another marriage and getting pregnant three times and having two babies and renovating a house and moving across state and moving across country and buying another house and working mundane jobs, and here the fuck I am.

I am in a state I moved to and made my home despite everybody’s doubts.

I am a fantastic mother to my two babies.

And I have a published fucking book.

And people showed out to celebrate it.

So many people truly showed up for me.
Both tons of my family, but also people I didn’t even know.
I left the event with my heart completely full. And on top of that, I almost completely sold out of all of the books I had brought.

Fucking beautiful.

The event was also at Larson’s General — which is a local store focused on natural/organic products and low-waste refillable products. I’ve been using them since before moving here, and currently buy my dishwasher soap, cleaning spray, shampoo, conditioner, candles, and various random sprays and products from them. So, it was also just cool to be featured in a store that I have loved for so long.

And the event went fantastic.

Alongside people showing up to just be there and support, I met a lot of beautiful people in passing.

I had someone read one of my poems aloud to their child, which was the first time I had ever heard any of my writing be read aloud by anybody aside from me. Afterward, they told me how beautiful it was.

I had several people who silently read my writing tell me the same.

It always makes me want to cry.

Family, friends, and strangers all wanted me to sign their books.

And my favorite, a little boy who was so impressed I wrote a book of such a decent size. He asked in awe if I had wrote the entirety of the book myself, and when I stated I had he looked at me with wide eyes and stated “Wow. That’s so cool. You’re the first author I’ve ever met!”

…I could cry thinking about it.

I’m the first author he’s ever met.

Me.

Little ol’ me.

My goodness…my heart.

At the beginning of the year, upon starting a new journal, I wrote a goal list like I do at the beginning of most years.
This year I wrote that I really wanted to publish my book and I really wanted to have a steady stream of photography clients.

I officially have a handful of photoshoots booked for the upcoming couple weeks, I have photoshoots I still need to edit, my book is published, I have another pop-up at the end of the month, and I am still alive. I am still here, doing it. Living. Accomplishing my goals.

Day by day.

And I finally see it.

The effort.

The love.

The accomplishments.

I just ordered 25 more books for my next pop-up, and I am quickly coming up on one hundred copies sold.

It doesn’t seem like a lot in the grand scheme of things, but in my world — in this moment — it is huge. It is everything.

And I am so fucking grateful.