October 1st

Hello, October.

Life feels weird.

I feel so connected to everyone, in this weird sort of way.
Like on the bad days everyone else is having a bad day too.
And on the really good ones, everyone else seems so friendly too.
And even when separation is apparent, I feel indifferent. Like I understand too. And if I don’t, it’s okay. For it will pass.

And when I think of something, suddenly I see it everywhere. All around me.

But maybe the algorithm finally figured me out, and I’m just crazy.

Maybe I’m too self-centered, I don’t know.

I feel like I’m at a point in my life where I’m so connected to myself that I can’t hide anything about myself anymore.

It’s part of the reason I can even write this on a public forum — because of the awareness that nobody actually cares and the freedom in just being able to be okay with being who I am no matter what.

But also, in person it feels like I can no longer ever wear a mask.

I can’t fake it, no matter where I am or when I should.

I just am.

And everyone can see it.

And people either really like it or they really fuckin’ hate it.

But truthfully, I’ll like you regardless.

The only person I have to deal with 24/7 is me, so I just want to make you feel okay within your own existence for the short time we’re together. If I like you I’ll serve you my light the best I can.

And if we don’t vibe, that’s okay too.

Regardless, I’ll keep goin’. Keep movin’. Forever.